Friday, January 18, 2013
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Confessions on a Cold January Night
I must be drunk for posting this. But no, I've never had a sip of alcohol in two weeks. (Hurray. 10 more weeks to go then!).
Then I must be crazy.
But then again. Maybe, I just really want to get certain things out of my head and by that time I read it in a few days time, I realize how foolish these things are.
Months ago, I may have written here that I am experiencing a quarter life crisis. Doubting what I truly want, staying away from my friends and living in the past. Recently, I got over this. You may have also read that I am frustrated with the way things are as I am still stuck in law school. So basically, for the past few days, I have been contemplating on some things that rarely cross my mind. And here are my confessions on this cold January night.
1. I feel that I am still stuck in a rut. Not just with respect to my professional life which I never get tired of complaining over the past few days but I think with my personal life as well. My frustrations with respect to the fact that I have not yet graduated does not end there. My continued inability to lose more weight is kind of frustrating as well. I've been killing myself, working put almost every day and yet I have not achieved my desired body yet. Well, yes, people say that I have lost weight. But it seems that I am not contented with it. Guess I'm anorexic huh? Yeah, that ain't new.
2. I kinda hesitated with this point. That is why I talked about the bull shit about my body image. Well, truth is, I also feel stuck with respect to the point that most of my friends and HS batch mates are already getting married and starting their own families. If not, engaged. Yeah, my facebook wall is filled with engagement announcements. That is why I begin to think about when I would also experience such bliss. Then again, as I have written months ago, as I think about it, I realize that I am not ready for it. I am in love with the idea of an engagement and of a wedding, but marriage per se? That's scary.
3. Contemplating on what I have just written, I realize that I have commitment issues. All my life, I have this tendency to take on so many commitments and responsibilities only to back out on the, once I begin to experience difficulties relating to these.
4. But in spite and despite of all my complaints, I can say that I am perfectly happy with my life. ♥
Owkaaay, I am not making any sense. Hahaha.
Then I must be crazy.
But then again. Maybe, I just really want to get certain things out of my head and by that time I read it in a few days time, I realize how foolish these things are.
Months ago, I may have written here that I am experiencing a quarter life crisis. Doubting what I truly want, staying away from my friends and living in the past. Recently, I got over this. You may have also read that I am frustrated with the way things are as I am still stuck in law school. So basically, for the past few days, I have been contemplating on some things that rarely cross my mind. And here are my confessions on this cold January night.
1. I feel that I am still stuck in a rut. Not just with respect to my professional life which I never get tired of complaining over the past few days but I think with my personal life as well. My frustrations with respect to the fact that I have not yet graduated does not end there. My continued inability to lose more weight is kind of frustrating as well. I've been killing myself, working put almost every day and yet I have not achieved my desired body yet. Well, yes, people say that I have lost weight. But it seems that I am not contented with it. Guess I'm anorexic huh? Yeah, that ain't new.
2. I kinda hesitated with this point. That is why I talked about the bull shit about my body image. Well, truth is, I also feel stuck with respect to the point that most of my friends and HS batch mates are already getting married and starting their own families. If not, engaged. Yeah, my facebook wall is filled with engagement announcements. That is why I begin to think about when I would also experience such bliss. Then again, as I have written months ago, as I think about it, I realize that I am not ready for it. I am in love with the idea of an engagement and of a wedding, but marriage per se? That's scary.
3. Contemplating on what I have just written, I realize that I have commitment issues. All my life, I have this tendency to take on so many commitments and responsibilities only to back out on the, once I begin to experience difficulties relating to these.
4. But in spite and despite of all my complaints, I can say that I am perfectly happy with my life. ♥
Owkaaay, I am not making any sense. Hahaha.
Frustrations
Family reunions and get togethers with friends are undeniably fun. Unfortunately, they too can cause your deepest frustrations to surface.
I would always hear people complain about reunions. Most of the time, they dread comments and questions from relatives ranging from harmless ones as 'kailan ka ikakasal' to the tactless remarks Such as 'ang taba mo ngayon ah.'
I have always been grateful that I have never experienced frustrating comments like these. Oh well, except for the ang taba mo part. Haha. The fact that I am still in law school, with no decent job, spared me from questions like "kailan ka ikakasal?" Unfortunately, this past holiday season, I never thought I'd be ask with a similar question that undeniably caused my deepest frustrations to surface: "kailan ka ba gagraduate?"
I entered law school in 2009 which means that I should be graduating this year. As I have mentioned in an earlier post, I had to 'take it slow' as I work to send myself to school. It was not just a good decision, it was one that is necessary. Unfortunately, however, I cannot deny the fact that I truly, desperately want to leave school, get the job that I dreamt of and work towards the fulfillment of my dreams.
I would always hear people complain about reunions. Most of the time, they dread comments and questions from relatives ranging from harmless ones as 'kailan ka ikakasal' to the tactless remarks Such as 'ang taba mo ngayon ah.'
I have always been grateful that I have never experienced frustrating comments like these. Oh well, except for the ang taba mo part. Haha. The fact that I am still in law school, with no decent job, spared me from questions like "kailan ka ikakasal?" Unfortunately, this past holiday season, I never thought I'd be ask with a similar question that undeniably caused my deepest frustrations to surface: "kailan ka ba gagraduate?"
I entered law school in 2009 which means that I should be graduating this year. As I have mentioned in an earlier post, I had to 'take it slow' as I work to send myself to school. It was not just a good decision, it was one that is necessary. Unfortunately, however, I cannot deny the fact that I truly, desperately want to leave school, get the job that I dreamt of and work towards the fulfillment of my dreams.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
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Wednesday, January 2, 2013
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I've been three days late with this post. That's because I have been drunk for the past few days and I had to attend to something important yesterday.
2012 was the year of the Dragon, hence, my year. I thank God for all the blessings that he has given me for the past year. I also thank him for the numerous lessons that I have learned. I am looking forward for 2013. As always, I have high hopes for the new year as I know it would be a good one. :) I do not actually do New Year's Resolutions as they I have a hard time fulfilling them. So this year, I'd stick to goals (i'll probably do another post for my goals).
2012 was memorable as it was the year of many firsts. It was the year when I've finally started mixing drinks, making desserts, doing yoga, spinning classes, my first time to drive a car by myself. I actually look forward to more accomplishments this year. :)
Oh and by the way, I'll be finally on my last year of law school this coming June *fingers crossed*
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