It was in 2009 when I decided to enter in law school. I had my reservations and doubts back then because I believed that I was not smart for law school. You see, I was just an average student back in High School and College. Being 21 then, I was determined to get a decent job at the soonest possible time and maintain a sense of independence. But it was also during that time when the world was affected by the financial crisis in the United States. I wanted to become a member of the airline industry, a flight attendant perhaps. On the other hand, another part of me wanted to pursue a master's degree - I just didn't know what to take. Worrying about my otherwise bleak future, I took I personality exam with my former boss who was also a career consultant and she encouraged me to pursue law. At that time, I knew that I'd have to work my ass of just to fulfill my dreams and I was truly scared.
I have always wanted to write something inspirational after taking the bar and I still intend to do so come October 27. Maybe this is just a sneak peek of what I intend to write on that day, detailing every hardship that I have encountered, every challenge that I have hurdled and every simple blessing that I have acquired.
Five years in law school is no joke. There would be times when you just want to throw everything away and leave what has always been referred to as hell on earth. There are times when you just want to cry just because your professor was not satisfied with the answer you have given during recitations or when you just don't know where the hell did that question in your examinations came from.
Yes, it was terrible. But nothing can compare to what I feel now that I am taking the bar. I started the review with high hopes, with high expectations of myself. As each day passes by, these high hopes turn to doubts and to frustrations.
To date, I have finished four examinations. And no matter how hard I have studied for them, everything still seems wrong. It always feels like I have done something wrong. Thus, the doubts and frustrations that I have experienced tend to multiply.
But then, I look back on that fateful day in 2009 when I had reservations about my ability to work and study at the same time. I have come a long way. God has sustained me. For every challenge that I have encountered, he was always there to pick me up. Truly, God has not forsaken me during these trying years. At this point, I have nothing to worry. He will continue to bless me and sustain me. The last two weeks may have been super stressful and the next two weeks would be no different. I just have to keep this faith that this too shall pass and that the best is yet to come, with God by my side. :)
